How Padma Lakshmi, Jane Fonda, Halle Berry and Women Over 50 Are Living The Life We Should

I’m 29 years old, an age that hardly means anything. It is not 30 years old, a symbolic but always arbitrary marker of age, progress and a little wisdom. It’s just the last year of my twenties, a period historically defined by turbulent change and misery. the Harvard business review summed up this long list of reasons in an article titled “Why Your Late 20s Is The Worst Time Of Your Life.” (Thanks, I hate this.)

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I’m actually afraid to talk on the phone.

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And so, in my dreams, I’m over 50. There I live like the women I admire so much – the Padma Lakshmis and Halle Berrys, the JLos and Jane Fondas and Martha Stewarts, the Tina Knowles and Michelle Obama of the world. They know who they are, what they like and how to run their lives. In my eyes, they are happy.

In the midst of a pandemic, I am looking for any form of positivity that I can apply to my life taking into account who I am, who I want to be, and change my goal and purpose. Society looks to famous women for so many things: I want “the Rachel” or “This is what she eats in a day.” It’s a condition for survival in the public eye that what you look like and who you date is usually much more important than who you are and who you want to become.

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But to my ladies, it seemed like once the clock struck midnight on their 49th birthday, they had entered a new era of not caring. A quick scroll through Instagram features videos of Padma Lakshmi and Martha Stewart cooking and celebrating with the family, laughing at rude comments that demand they put on a bra and posting viral selfies in the pool with the most perfect eye shadow. They really live a life that I admire. More importantly, during this incredibly anxious time, they seem, more than anyone, to be… well.

Martha Beck, who has written books on goal-seeking and serves as Oprah’s life coach (screaming), says we’re drawn to these older women because they used their life experience to evolve and become better humans in the world. Beck distinguishes between getting older and be over 50 and become a elder, which implies growth and experience acquired over time.

“I have a friend and he explains that the elders of Native American tribes are the ones people turn to for wisdom,” Beck says. “He says that in our culture a lot of people don’t become elders, they just become old. In dealing with clients, I have seen that some people do not get past their youthful problems and are not happier. They are in fact less happy.

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You cannot fall into your wisdom just by existing. On the contrary, the elders and the women I admire have worked for this honor. “They had the opportunity to say, everyone’s terminal on this bus, and it’s a great adventure, so i might as well take itBeck said. “They chose this story and you can feel it in their freedom and dynamism. Like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, just an energy machine all the way: she chose and chose and chose to see the world as a positive place. It is very simple. Around a older, You feel bad. Around an elder, you feel good.

Even Gen Z, who will inherit an even worse planet in the decades to come, are turning to the wisdom of the ancients. “I feel like I relate more to Ina Garten than to Addison Rae,” says Bianca Garcia, 22, social media editor at Glossier. “They are so wise and have gone through life and thrived,” she says, echoing Beck. “Most of them thrive in industries that have an age limit for women. As an actress, you’re 30 and done, but to them they just said no.

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Beck’s best advice is to find the elders – watch them, listen to them, and listen to the way they tell the story of the world. “This story is what will change you,” she notes. Although there is no universal rubric for finding happiness – and one can certainly do not Suppose happiness is in an Instagram feed – there are commonalities between the personal choices of alumni and the way they align with their positive outlook. Below, Beck shares the key elements of becoming an elder that reflect what I see (and yearn for) in my idols.

How To Live Your Best Oldest Life

Sit quietly.

      When was the last time you saw Dame Judi Dench leave Nobu Malibu? Never literally. (Dame Dench lives on an English farm and can be found most of the time having tea with a few of her closest friends or relaxing in her garden, according to LA Times.) To use Tina Fey / Liz Lemon’s famous words, “I want to go.” The Lady is not alone, and the list of older celebrities who choose farms (Hi Ina. Sup, Martha!) On nightclubs goes on and on. Paula Sutton runs the popular @hillhousevintage Instagram account, which gives her followers a glimpse of her country home, a place she now lives after abandoning a successful career at Vogue. That stillness – stepping out of the fray of the modern world and living a #cottagecore lifestyle emphasizing a return to basics including fresh ingredients, sunny rooms and sprawling spaces meant for unnecessary walks – is there. escape that I so want.

      But you don’t have to operate in extremes – where Kendall Jenner is going versus what Meryl Streep is doing. French philosopher Blaise Pascal once said: “All of humanity’s problems arise from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room, alone. Beck agrees. “Either you don’t learn this with age, in which case you might get older, or you learn to sit quietly alone in a room and go through the anxiety that brings us into a space of deep peace. becomes an anchor for everything.

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      Accept the loss.

      These women have been through it all: love, breakups, marriage, divorce, marriage again, divorce again, death and more. What separates them from us is not only witnessing their loss, but also seeing their healing. Jennifer Aniston’s much-publicized Skype interaction with Brad Pitt ignited the internet, in the same way the couple’s October 2005 divorce was tackled on every tabloid. Making a video call with your ex after a very complicated public breakup and being totally okay with that – calm and relaxed like never before – is what character growth looks like, my friends.

      “You have to go through the five stages of grief every time,” says Beck. “But once you’ve had to do it a few times, and because this planet is what it is, you, if you’re 50 years old [or] 60 years old, you will have done it a lot. You know the process of losing. You know this first shock. You know despair. You know that desperation is a lie. You know you will get out of it. And so, the ability to lose and ride on that roller coaster is another really key thing. Stillness is the way you do it. They follow each other. ”

      Understand what really matters.

      We are constantly talking about a shift in priorities: I will eat healthier, I will focus on the things that are important to me –spouse, children, family –I will meditate. The list goes on. These ladies actually do. From Tina Knowles writing love captions to her grandchildren on Instagram to Laura Dern and Julia Louis Dreyfus who gave us porn – how do you like those apples? – these people know what makes them happy and look for it regularly. Their secret is simply to know each other.

      “These deep emotional states like peace, joy and most of all love – these things remain stable,” says Beck. “They are like the space in which change occurs, so they never change. I mean, you can take the baby when you are 60 and there is no difference to the feeling of taking a baby when you were 20. You realize that feeling of absolute love is never gone. It never changed. “In other words, once you let everything change, you realize that there is a space in which nothing changes and that is actually what you are.

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      Let’s go.

      Please welcome TikTok activist, actress and star Jane Fonda. Fonda said NPR, “It is important to face death, to accept it and understand it, because then you can kind of prepare yourself. I visualize my death and want to have people I love around me – which means by then I have to deserve to have people around me who love me. This perspective helps explain how the actress is able to live so fully and wholeheartedly.

      “You realize that irrevocable change is okay – as Eckhart Tolle says, ‘The secret of life is to’ die before you die ‘and find that there is no death,” Beck explains. “We must have the capacity to be calm with the concept of death.”

      I can’t wait to grow up.

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